Parkinson's, Blindness and Other Maladies

My father is 89.  He has Parkinson's Disease.  He is sweet and caring.  And his mind has failed him.  I see it in the lost look in his eyes, when he can't figure out where the trash bags have gone, even though they haven't moved.  I can see it when he sees his own reflection in the living room windows at night, and thinks someone is in the yard, delivering propane at 10pm, even though logic would have told him otherwise in the past.  I can see it when he wants to get out of his chair, and the will is there, but the body won't cooperate.  It is not easy to function, when your mind betrays you.

You see, that is something I can understand.  I have bipolar illness.  I was diagnosed in college, 30 years ago. I know what it is like, when your mind betrays you.  I have been very successful despite my illness.  I am proud of that.  I am a lawyer and an Executive Director for a small nonprofit.  Sometimes the load of work and home gets to be a bit much for someone who is sensitive to stress and has depressive tendencies.

My mother is 85.  She has macular degeneration.  She can't see worth beans.  She can't walk very well either.  Her knees hurt.  She can only stand for a matter of minutes.  She can only walk a few feet without sitting down to rest.  Mom is a little narcissistic.  She also likes control.  If you disagree with her, there is something wrong with you.  I love mom.  She just drives me crazy.

My daughter Rachel is about to be 14.  She is a wonderful, easy, fun child.  She is blonde and pretty and has beautiful freckles.  She has needs too.  She wants to have fun.  She wants to have a happy mom.  She wants to go to school dances, on trips and to girl scouts.   She likes to do crafts and she loves the computer.  She makes good grades and doesn't get into trouble.  Thank the lord for that!  She probably wants a vacation as much as I do right now.

In June of last year, my mom and dad moved in with me.  Before they moved in, Mom said, remember, we are moving in with you.  This is your house.  I agreed.  The story has not played out that way.  This is a handful! 

I want to tell my story, because it is therapeutic and also because I am hoping that sharing the journey will help someone else.  I've only just begun it.  I'm not sure where it will lead.  Come along, if you like.